The magic of being alone

Day ? Week 2

The first Week at Oventic has come and gone. I think time must really cease to exist once you get outside of Capitalist society. And in this case, I kind of feel lost. Maybe I’m not ready for the changes yet, as I stretch my boundaries and attempt to begin anew I feel myself being drawn back and being my former self or that other self which tries to hold me back. Maybe it’s my left brain seizing back control. I almost feel that the root of the problem may just be since I haven’t written to you in a while. It’s like this journal opens up a portal to what’s in my greater mind and when I can find that, I can find comfort. It is like I am placing a cushion for me to fall back on, or is it a spring, that allows me to spring forward and embrace what’s new, or confront whatever is bothering me. Is this falling back to step-forward or should I be able to continue my momentum in a forward direction…I’ve lost that train of thought. Instead I’d like to bring up new developments since I have been writing.. I am alone. Is it again or is it anew. The last time I thought about this was when I stayed home during university this semester, the 234 was very quiet, and I had this idea that I would get work done that week much like I have that idea now. So let’s take a moment and try to understand what is good about being alone (not indefinitely, but in this instance. And then again, am I really alone? We could very well say that I was alone when I got here. Definitely, I came to Mexico alone, so why should it scare me that I am alone again. Is it the fact that I very much could still have people around me? Well, I’m really not scared anyway, I’m excited because this decision now, I have created on my own. I have created an alternative universe for which only exists for me. And what a place to create an alternative universe in; then such a place as so otherly as this. A caracol; a doorway community in which the whole world exists. Because they like me have created this place, this alternative universe, they chose not to go on with society, just as I have chosen not to follow the group back to San Cristobal. No matter what even if there are negatives, it is for me to overcome. And of course this alternative universe won’t have everything that the other one had, the luxuries, these things that we feel familiar with and comfortable with, we throw that away, leave it behind, declare it useless. So from this we can begin again from the beginning, construct a new world based on our values and what matters to us. And this I think is where the magic in Zapatismo can be found.

From the Mountains of the Mexican Southeast
Brian

**This is an entry from my journal a couple weeks ago, I felt that there are something meaningful things in it. Tell me what you think.