Where's my sushi?

7/9/07

Even now I’m running avoiding what it is I have to do, but more importantly it is something I want to do. And when you start to hold yourself back from your wants and desires, this is a sad moment in your life. Because when you know what you want and are in pursuit of it that’s when you are happiest.

I feel like I have failed to show you who I truly am, what a great person I am inside. I refuse to live with this type of disappointment. I don’t know what it was that has held me back. But it has, and because of this I have failed.

But with some people it is certainly much harder. We are more afraid; we don’t open up. Is it then only a fault of our own or that of the other? Where is my Sushi when I need it? Where is my strength when I need it now? In concentrating on everyone else, I feel you have been left out. Although I may think it, all is not lost. It is never the case, I know myself pretty well now, and I will be able to find it again soon. This is what I wanted to write about. My greatest contribution: knowing myself and understanding what that means. What does that mean? It means you’re free. Free to live your life, being who you are and not succumbing to the pulls of society. Without this (self-knowledge) no matter what you do you will be pulled back into society, like the earth’s gravity pulling on satellites. It is so strong, that ‘what goes up must come down. We don’t want to come back down. We want don’t want to come back down, we want an alternative world, we want to run tangent. It will be our escaping velocity into the greater universe, the plurality of another world. This is self-knowledge, our ticket out of this wretched fucking world. But not only is a ticket for ourselves, it is a ticket/vessel for everyone else. So the question becomes how do we breach this higher consciousness. For me I feel it is first necessary to break down (deconstruct) our current conciousness, our current world/societal view. Asking key questions like: Where did it all come from? Why do we choose accept it? What are its epistemological roots? From this we start a dialogue or a discourse you will.

The path to the other is not easy, it is infact the most difficult. Along the way likely sacrifices will be made. I might even end up dying for it. But what life would I be living if I did not pursue my dreams. It would be a lie, would it not? And what is death next to living a lie. This lie I speak of can be known as capitalism. And within that lie are thousands and thousands of lies upon which it has been constructed. Let us pick an example, and if you have one in your own mind feel free to share it. INSERT LIE HERE. Once I get….., I will be happy.

HAPPINESS

That’s probably the biggest fucking lie in the world or at least how they tell you that you will achieve it. I will be happy once I get…. There are millions of ways to fill in that blank, married, a car, a good job, a house, a girlfriend, a coke, turn 21, graduate from school, a kid, re-decorate. THINGS THINGS THINGS, and most of these have become commoditized. And in economics they say a rational consumer will be able to judge how much happier they will be with a Lamborgini Diablo, than an apple. HOW THE FUCK can you compare? But more and more lies are flashed in front of our faces at the speed of …….(biggest # I can think of)

Where does happiness come from? It comes for the most part unexpectedly it comes form inside. The path to self-knowledge also brings with it happiness, ie. we know more about ourself, we know more what makes us happy. And in that we realize that its not that car or that toy or whatever we bought. It’s that conversation I had, that walk in the woods, that moment sitting on the couch after a hard day that makes us happy. So lets talk about work. What should that entail? Simple trading away our time for money in some job that we hate. For the hope that sometime in the future we will have enough time to really do all those things we want to do. Only to realize that when we get to that point we won’t even go do it. Or is it a wife and kid and having a nice house, in a nice neighborhood with a SUV, “living the American Dream.” Fuck American Dreams, that’s a Capitalist dream, and I HEART CAPITALISM. =P

“Okay so I believe you and all this is all apparent. Why hasn’t anybody done anything about it.” And there in lies another problem, the answers do not lie in a select few but rather in everyone. Because everyone is living in consent in this horrible fucking system, And really I do not blame you for it, or think of you negatively for it, there are a great number of good people in this world, you didn’t know. I don’t even believe that the people who created Capitalism knew how horrible it would be. Maybe they did, but if they didn’t it does not lessen my critique. It is time for it to go, and time for us to change. But for those of you who don’t believe me, that’s okay too. Formulate your own opinions on the world, and act on them. I’m sure that at some point some of what I have said here will ring true in your own mind too. But logistically speaking, opinion is no better/worse than yours, we should maintain our own dignity, or what is the point of living?

Opinion: Most of what I have told you is the result of personal experience. I haven’t simply read it in a book and regurgitated it here for you now. I have felt so much of it in my own life that it has rung as truth in my ears. Education and comprehension does not exist somewhere outside ourselves, as in a book, guru, or classroom. It is for us watching and listening to everything around us constantly in order to not simply understand but comprehend the world. This is a process of our whole lives, and once we stop to question, stop learning as most do when they are 30 or so, we are truly dead. We aren’t much more than robots carrying out pre-set orders marching about thoughtlessly day to day. And in this colony of robots, we forget our pasts, cultures fade away. And the Guardians of this world sit back and collect all the things that we have produced ourselves. They themselves think they are happy, enjoying this world they have destroyed. That is why when an uprising or riot takes place here or there, they use all their power to crush it. They are afraid of this new thought, they now thoughts are contagious. They’ve been very good at spreading the same thoughts to all of us. And they are afraid of that thought themselves, because if they believe in it they will finally be confronted with the horrible mess of a person they are. And at that point all that they have constructed will never be able to hold them up for the subsequent crash towards the ground, as the real hegemony of gravity takes hold. Their world will crumble. This is the world as it is, and how it will become more and more wretched and disgusting.

Join me now as I say “Ya Basta” and blast off towards a brand new colony. Join me in thinking freely and starting dialogues with others about an other world. Join me in complete rebellion so that we may one day see the Guardians of Hegemony crumble to the ground. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME CAPITALISM.

_BRIAN

**Final Project Final PROJECT, I don't want to do my final project.

*** I finally ate my sushi, and it was awesome! But it had some cheese in it...