Bread, banana, and a coke

Oventic Day 7/8 8:30pm 6/17/07

What’s going on? Well today I discovered that “Waking Life” has a castellano language selection. So I showed Pedro, one of my promotores, the part with Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy -à Who was speaking of evolution? Was it Wallerstein?

Anyways I’m in a room writing his, and in front of me 2 promotores estan mirando este pelicula. Y afuera la luna y tres planetas estan en linea en el cielo. The moon and at least three planets are in line. It’s beautiful. In this moment I feel time has collapsed and I am seeing what I saw some years ago in Wrightsville Beach. Does time not exist for the stars and planets, or is it much much slower. Maybe there’s no difference. Why does it exist for us, as it does not exist in any other animal or any other thing? Does that then make us time, or are we the keepers of time? As it seems to me, we have created time. But when did we create it, and why? It must have existed before Capitalism and all of its demands that are largely based on time. And us complacently trading away time in some job (labour) for some reward money. So given time does not exist we really aren’t giving anything away…. But we are putting ourselves through uncomfortable activities so that we might store up money and such that we can buy back time in the future so that we can do what we want. But how will we then know what we want if our only real experience until this point has been a mechanical surrendering to various forces (or one force). Don’t we learn from experience? And if so this points to a process i.e. constantly experiencing and constantly learning. And from this we should have a better understanding of what we enjoy or love. This process isn’t a set amount of time, it varies, it’s a plurality variant on the person, we can’t predict its outcome. And why would we want to? Aren’t some of the most rewarding experiences surprises? It’s like you go on living your life, feeling generally contented, and then BOOM something unexpected happens, and you are filled with joy. Isn’t that where the beauty in relationships occur, when you first meet. You are a bit nervous and maybe a bit scared but you got to this point by trusting yourself. And then you trust yourself a bit more and amazing things can happen. This is what happened when I came to Chiapas, I knew I was doing the right thing because I had been trusting my feelings all the way here, but I really had no clue what I was getting myself into. THIS IS THE WHOLE KEY. The what part can be adapted to, but the how is the important part. When looking at what I am doing now I don’t know how this happened. But when I look at how it happened, I can fully understand what it is I’m doing now. The word how again points to the process, and this points to Zapatismo. In addition to what I was thinking the other night, and struggling with here in Oventic was the question “What is different here, what makes this community, an alternative world, an answer in a series of answers in creating a better world, simply what’s the difference from here and that of capitalismo. And with this it came to me that the question was how as well as how this place came to be, how I felt here. How differences are very subtle in what they are, physically, etc. It seems to make sense. But something is still troubling me even now. It could be my lack of will to fully accept my thoughts as they are or the fact that I have written so much here, when I still have homework hanging over my head. I’ll go with the latter. As I said to Arturo, “We can’t meditate (stay in the moment) all the time, because then we would starve. For now school is my bread and butter…..Or in tonite’s case bread, banana, and a coke.

pinche caballo

&

pink lasers